Hoping for Acceptance

A sister says:

I can’t imagine being Muslim and not having this month. On the first day, you can feel the sense of peace and tranqulity that comes over you. The blessings in this month are doubled. So we make extra effort at this time for dua and to perform good doods and hope that it is accepted.

Thank Allah for your parched mouth…

A few days ago, I went to my Sunday morning class. Alhumdullilah, I always find something enlightening from the teacher. On this day, we went over  Hadith Al-Qudsi hadith #6:

On the authority of Aboo `Abdillaah an-Nu`maan the son of Basheer (radiAllaahu ‘anhumaa), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) say:

That which is lawful is clear and that which is unlawful is clear, and between the two of them are doubtful matters about which many people do not know. Thus he who avoids doubtful matters clears himself in regard to his religion and his honour, but he who falls into doubtful matters [eventually] falls into that which is unlawful, like the shepherd who pastures around a sanctuary, all but grazing therein. Truly every king has a sanctuary, and truly Allaah’s sanctuary is His prohibitions. Truly in the body there is a morsel of flesh, which, if it be whole, all the body is whole, and which, if it is diseased, all of [the body] is diseased. Truly, it is the heart. [Related by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.]

The Shaykh then went on to explain that some people know in their hearts what is Al-Halal and what is Al-Haram, and they continue to exceed the limits set down by Allah (swt). They begin to commit Makhruh acts, and eventually those aren’t even enough for them. Eventually, they are doing Haram openly. It is a slippery slope.  Anyway, we were in the middle of the Hadith portion of the class when a new student walked in.

She sat next to me, and I immediately noticed something “off” about her. She was dressed sort of haphazardly. She wore a hijab, but it looked like she had just thrown her outfit together. She, what can I say?, she didn’t smell too nice. Conversely, she had a very clear, brown complexion and nice teeth. I used to wear braces when I was a teenager, and one of the first things I notice about people are their teeth, and hers were even, straight and white.

I noticed also, that she was very figgety. Soon after she came into the class, she suddenly got up and left. The shaykh hadn’t finished class yet, so I went after her.

I followed her outside and asked her if she was coming back in. She said she would, and  she said, “Are we allowed to ask questions in this class?” I answered that she was allowed to ask any questions she needed to. After a few minutes she came back into the class.

After the Hadith section of the class, we began to talk about Fiqh of fasting, and the sister raises her hand. She says, “If someone has a medical condition, where they’re not obligated to fast…or pray…should they still fast or would it be wrong to fast?” I could see that the sister truly wanted guidance, and had come to the class seeking just that.

I immediately start thinking about what kind of a health condition she could have. She appears pretty healthy. But looks only tell part of the story.

The shaykh said, “I can’t answer the question until I know the nature of the illness.”

She says, “What if someone were Bi-Polar, and they have to take medicines to control it, and if they aren’t sure what fasting will do to their…balance?”

The Shaykh was clearly thrown for a loop. He had a hard time advising her, he tried giving her nasihah, but he had to eventually advise her to consult her doctor.

Imagine if you couldn’t fast? What if your health absolutely prevented you from doing so? Wouldn’t you crave the days when you were able to fast? Yes, Allah (swt) is Merciful, those who can’t fast can feed a poor or fasting person, but just the act of fasting brings us closer to Allah, and that bond is hard to duplicate.

 What if each day it was a challenge just to gain control of reality? What if you struggled just to make sense of this world? Allah has indeed placed a great test upon those who struggle with Mental Health issues. Inshallah, they will pass that test.

Everyday, we take for granted our fasting. Every year we take for granted that we will be granted another Ramadan. What if this is our last? What if today is our last day on this Earth? What if next year we are unable to fulfill the fast?

May we all take advantage of this Ramadan, as if it were our last one upon this Earth. May Allah accept our fast, Salah, and Du’ah this Ramadan (amin).

When Opening Your Fast…

Perhaps you might spare a thought for the brothers who have been unjustly detained in the last few years. In our community, we have had a number of brothers convicted and sentenced to many years to life to more than life in prison for offenses that even the jurors agreed were so minor they never should have been prosecuted.

Left behind are the mothers and fathers, the brothers and sisters, the wives and children, the friends, students, and colleagues.

I see them those left behind by a brother in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons often at the masjid or fundraisers. And I am always struck by their strength, warmth, gentleness, and patience in the face of such immense tribulation.

This is Our Month

I asked a sister why we only see her in Ramadan and she replied,

“This is our month, we only have 1 month, so we gotta use it.”

This memory has stayed with me for over a year now, and each time I feel that I am a bit too tired and should skip the taraweeh or take a break for two rakah, I remember this statement and that the purpose of our creation is to worship Allah azza wa jal.

Merely an Ant

Last night I went to Taraweeh prayer. I am relatively new to the masjid and this is basically my first Ramadan in this city. At this Masjid there are 3 or 4 hafiz who take turns reciting. When one gets tired, another jumps in and begins where the first one left off.

 Eventually a young hafiz began to recite, he made a few mistakes and the other hafiz corrected him, this happened a few times. I was struck by the power that these four individuals hold. The ability to recite our entire Qur’an from memory, every ayat, every surah. It blows me away.

 As they recite, I understand little of what is said. Maybe every fourth word at best…mumineen…Bani-Isreal….maidah…

 I remember a hadith that states that one day the worst of the sahaba will be better then the best that our Ummah has to offer.  They were surely at a greater advantage. In the Prophet Muhammad’s (saws) time, the Holy Qur’an was preserved through memory. When the Prophet recieved a revelation, he shared it with the Sahaba and they memorized it from his lips. Back then, when a reciter made a mistake, the majority of the congregation probably noticed. Here only 4 have the ability to correct.

I yearn to be among those who find the words of the Qur’an easy to recite. When I read the Qur’an in Arabic, every phoneme is a jihad.  Stammering and stuttering along, I feel like a pre-schooler trying to tackle Shakespeare.  I am an ant who wishes to be king of the jungle. How the lions must laugh at him!

However, I have to remember that with each letter lies a reward. And the more I struggle, the greater the Hasanaat.

So, Where is the Difference?

Whoever is shown mercy in Ramadhân is marhûm (blessed, receiver of mercy),

Whoever prohibits for himself its good is mahrûm (devoid of blessing and good),

And whoever doesn’t take provision and sustenance from it is malûm (has no-one to blame but himself).

- Source Unknown

Fasting: An Act of Faith

Several years before I converted to Islam, I was fascinated by an article in a local newspaper about several Muslim basketball players that continued to play in the NBA while fasting during the month of Ramadan. I remember being impressed by their ability to abstain from food and drink from the pre-dawn hours until sunset.

Although, I was raised in a Christian home and fasting is mentioned in the Bible, it was never an established or emphasized practice in our home, church, or local community.

I admired the Muslim basketball players dedication to their faith so much so that I decided to attempt a week-long fast to try to emulate the experience of Muslims all over the world. I had never fasted before and did not know the sunnan of eating suhur, the pre-dawn meal or that the fast is from much more than just food.

So I set the terms of my fast and decided that I would fast from the time I woke up in the morning usually around 6:15 am until sunset and that I would restrict myself to water and one bagel during these daylight hours.

Intro

I remember the girlhood days of fasting. The days of dry mouth and hunger pangs. When the mouth was so dry that it seemed pasty, filled with crud or wet sand. The headaches gave way to a surreal feeling of other-worldliness. “Ummi, is it time yet?”